"MY SPACE"

Barack Obama to end US army's 'don't ask, don't tell' policy towards gays

President-Elect Barack Obama will end the "don't ask, don't tell" policy towards gays in the military as part of moves to sweep away remnants of the Bush era.

 

By Alex Spillius in Washington 
Last Updated: 9:34PM GMT 14 Jan 2009

The change of policy on homosexuality will allow gays to serve openly in all branches of the armed forces Photo: REUTERS

The move is expected to be among a series of symbolic changes he will push through quickly to stamp his mark on the presidency.

He is also expected to reverse several controversial executive Bush decisions within days of taking office next week.

Mr Obama has committed to closing the US military prison at Guantanamo Bay and will formally ban all interrogative techniques that could be described as torture, such as waterboarding.

It is expected that he will also reverse Mr Bush's orders restricting the distribution of funds for stem cell research and to overseas groups that offer abortion counselling.

The change of policy on homosexuality will allow gays to serve openly in all branches of the armed forces.

Though a timeline was not put on the reversal of the policy, Robert Gibbs, who becomes Mr Obama's press secretary next week, was unequivocal that it would happen.

When questioned about whether the policy would change on the Obama transition website, he wrote: "You don't hear politicians give a one-word answer much. But it's 'Yes'."

Mr Obama opposed the policy during the campaign, but since his election has made statements that gay pressure groups interpreted as lukewarm commitments.

The issue became a distraction in the early days of Bill Clinton's presidency. He tried to push through reform that would have allowed gays and lesbians to serve openly but had to compromise with the "don't ask, don't tell" solution, which has been maintained by the Bush administration.

Although introduced before he came to power, Mr Bush's refusal to change the "don't ask, don't tell" policy angered many in America.

There is now however much wider public support for removing any restrictions on male and female gay personnel. Colin Powell, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, is among influential figures who have called for the policy to be re-evaluated.

During his campaign Mr Obama often spoke out against what he called Bush's abuse of executive authority.

"I was a constitutional law professor, which means unlike the current president, I actually respect the Constitution," he said in 2007.

Russ Feingold, the Democratic Senator for Wisconsin, a strong critic of Mr Bush’s accumulation of executive power, said he had been informed by Mr Obama’s transition staff the records of past presidents might also be made more available.

He said the incoming president would support a bill he is proposing to make public some opinions from the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel, which issued some of the most controversial extensions of presidential power in the Bush era.

WHAT IS THE #1 PROBLEM YOU'VE HAD WITH MEN?

In my Yahoo Group "NubianNewYorkers" , over 22,000 Gay and Bi men were asked

what the #1 problem in trying to date or mate a man. Following you will find the most popular

answers. Do you agree?

QUESTION- WHAT IS THE #1 PROBLEM YOU'VE HAD WITH MEN?

ANSWERS SO FAR FROM MEMBERS...

1. Lack of respect.

2. Telling lie after lie after lie...

3. Most not all want to use you for your money and a place to stay.

4. Immaturity

5. Promiscuous

6. cheaters and DL brothas

7. Yep, and to build on that, they want you to pay because they may be bi and to have them you have to give up the $$$ not all but some.

8. That most men don't know true love so when they receive it they abuseit and they abuse you until you can't take it anymore. Then you startseeing the problem within yourself because you tolerated it, endured itand continually went back for more. So then it scares you from lovingsomeone else who wants to love you, thus continuing a vicious cycleexcept you're the asshole who abuses the love someone tries to lavishon you. Or at least that's been my experience.

9. Not willing to commit.

SEE ANSWERS HERE... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NubianNewYorkers/message/117026

..Did they leave anything off? do you have a particular experience that you would like to share?

please add a comment, or post one in our Yahoo Group "NubianNewYorkers"

Treating Depression at Home

Treatment of depression often involves multiple and different strategies. For some patients, a few simple home remedies are all that's needed. But even those who need counseling and/or medications will benefit from these do-it-yourself techniques:

Exercise. The fatigue and poor motivation brought on by depression can make it very hard to get up and get moving, so resuming or increasing your former exercise program—or beginning a new one—may be difficult at first. However, the rewards should come quickly. The increased blood flow, breathing rate, and muscle use associated with exercise will improve energy levels during the day and result in more restful sleep overnight.

Even more importantly, exercise causes the release of chemicals called endorphins in the brain. Endorphins elevate the mood and increase energy levels. They are the source of the "runner's high"—a state of euphoria that endurance athletes experience after a sustained period of exertion. Think of endorphins as your own natural antidepressants.

And, of course, exercise has additional benefits beyond treating depression. High on the list is reducing the risks of diabetes, high blood pressure, and coronary artery disease. Burning calories while exercising can also help you combat the tendency towards weight gain that's associated with both depression itself and with several prescription antidepressant medications.

One trick for overcoming inertia and beginning an exercise regimen is to simply make a schedule of exercise time, and commit to doing a specific activity during that time. Start with 20 to 30 minutes, 3 times per week, and then try to build towards 45 to 60 minutes every day. If it helps you, try thinking of exercise as a prescription from your doctor to treat depression. It also helps if you can find one or more types of physical activity that you enjoy, or at least don't dislike too much.

Laughter. The simple act of laughing also releases endorphins, thus treating depression. Of course, being depressed can make it very hard to laugh, so this may not be practical advice in the early stages of treating severe depression. But as soon as you're able to, going out of your way to find funny things and experience some good, hearty laughter is seriously helpful!
Light. It is well known that the shorter days of winter are associated with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) in many people, and worsen symptoms in those with chronic depression.

Increasing your exposure to natural sunlight will help elevate your mood right away, and regular light therapy can be very beneficial for treating depression. If you've made the commitment to exercise as part of a depression management program, try to schedule at least some of your activity outdoors in the daytime.

The winter months can be a challenge, but creative scheduling and some really warm clothes will help a lot. If getting outdoors isn't practical, the next best thing is to spend as much time as possible in front of a big window that lets in a lot of light.

Another option is artificial sunlight. There are several companies that market lamps specifically for treating depression, SAD, and low mood. These special lights can be ordered directly on the Internet, and are available in just about every price range. I suggest placing the light next to your bed and plugging it into a timer. Have it turn on about 10 minutes before you plan to wake up, and lie in bed under the light for about half an hour or so every day. Artificial sunlight is a great idea even if you already get time outdoors and/or window exposure during the day.
Attitude.

For many people, depression is caused or worsened by a variety of stressful or sad thoughts and situations. Resisting or denying a diagnosis of depression can become yet another source of stress, and actually worsen your symptoms. Failing to accomplish desired or necessary tasks, a common problem in depressed people, often makes things worse, too.

Try to take stock of your current abilities and limitations—what you can do now, not what you used to be able to do—and then set out some specific, modest goals. Just getting a few things accomplished can help to reduce stress, and that will help improve the depression.

Also, consider whether worrying about things beyond your control is productive or helpful to you. Perhaps the best way to summarize the importance of attitude is with the serenity prayer:

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

THE "BOOTY CALL" AGREEMENT

The Pre-Booty Call Agreement


This pre-booty call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as "The Agreement")
is entered into on this ___day of ______________, 20 __, by ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Participant") between ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Holder of 'The Agreement'") and ____________________ (Participant).


This Agreement shall cover the following rules and principles for the Participant:


1. If it is very good we may repeat it in the morning, but don't hold the Holder of The Agreement to any promises.


2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.


3. No calls before 9 pm. We don't have anything to talk about.


4. None of that "lovemaking" stuff, only mind-blowing sex allowed.


5. No emotional discussions!! i.e. where are we heading with this? Do you love me? If the Holder of The Agreement begins said discussion, shut her up with a kiss and remind her that this is a Booty Call.


6. No plans made in advance. That is why you are called "the backup." Unless you are from out-of-town, then an advance arrangement as acceptable.


7. All gifts accepted- dinner is always good.


8. No baby talk- however, dirty talk is encouraged.


9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers; it's really none of your damn business.


10. No calling each other friends with privileges. We are not friends, just sex buddies.


11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK. Don't be offended, you mean no less to me than you did before.


12. No extra clothing!! I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.


13. Falling asleep after sex is ok if the Holder of the Agreement is satisfied with your performance to date.


14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it. I don't care!!


15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.


16. If anyone of the opposite sex asks who you are, the standard response will be "A friendly acquaintence."


17. Doggie style preferred. Just hit it hard and right or get the Hell out!


*Extra tip for successful booty calls: The holder of the Agreement may only alter the aforementioned rules. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of the Agreement, it will automatically become null and void.The Participant will then be removed from the "Possible Future Relationship List" and given minimal Booty Call privileges, and cut off from any communications unless first initiated by the holder of this agreement.


If further violations of the Agreement occur the Participant will be deleted from phone memory, email list, and blocked from all communications until the Participant's silly ass understands the rules.


Participant: Holder of the "Agreement": Signature: ____________________ Date: ____________________


Signature: ____________________ Date: ____________________

Tips for Making Good New Year's Resolutions

Here are eight tips for making and keeping your New Year’s resolutions:

1. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. The most successful transformations happen one step at a time. You can’t wish your way from New York to San Francisco. You can, however, buy a map, prepare a budget,Google the directions, and get in the car and go.
2. Account for your bias. Most people have an unrealistic understanding of who they are (the bottom half of the performers in any organization uniformly think that they are above average). Before you commit to making a change, verify that you are able to make it.
3. Measure the thing you want to change. How many cups of coffee do you drink and when? If you are going to save, what spending will you cut out? How many calories do you consume daily? The more you can quantify your current behavior, the easier it is to change it.
4. Change one thing at a time. If you have multiple resolutions, get a calendar and schedule them out over time. Every change you make has a ripple effect. The ripples are what cause the change to fail. Give the ripples time to settle out.
5. Quitting is easier that altering. In order to build momentum, start with changes that are all or nothing (quitting smoking, quitting drinking, starting to exercise). Once you have mastered a dramatic change, the subtler forms (reducing spending, losing weight, driving slower, moderating your intake) are easier. Practice on the dramatic ones and move up to the subtle.
6. Make changes that feel good. Far too often, resolutions contain changes that feel awful. Getting enough rest, eating better food, taking time to say ‘I love you’, writing thank you notes are all changes that feel good in the execution. Try some of those.
7. Be kind to yourself. Allow for the slipping and sliding that comes with any change. Seventeen days in a row is the magic number. Try to do whatever it is seventeen days in a row in January. That’s a good start.
8. Write it down. The best way to remember last year’s resolutions is to have them in a journal.

THAT CHRISTMAS LIST- Buying an LCD HDTV on a budget

Buying an LCD HDTV on a budget


The digital television transition is right around the corner. So, digital, high-definition televisions will top many gift lists this year. But before you buy, make sure you’re getting the biggest bang for your buck.

This year, HDTV prices will reach unprecedented lows. A 42-inch set will come in well under $1,000. You may even see 32-inchers for less than $400!

You’ll find plasma and DLP sets. But, LCD has become the most popular type of HDTV. Here are some tips for finding the perfect budget LCD HDTV.

Important features

Resolution differentiates HDTV from standard TV. HDTV resolution is 1280x720 (720p) or 1920x1080 (1080i and 1080p). The letter i stands for interlaced; p stands for progressive.
Full high definition is 1080p. But don’t worry too much about resolution. You probably won’t notice a difference, especially on smaller sets.

Pay particular attention to response time. This is the time it takes a pixel to turn on and off. Response time is measured in milliseconds. Aim for 8ms or faster. Otherwise, you may notice smearing in action scenes.

Brightness and contrast ratio are also important. Brightness is measured in candelas per square meter (cd/m2). Higher numbers are better. The picture will look better in bright light.
Contrast ratio is the difference between the whitest white and blackest back. Shadow detail improves as the contrast ratio increases. Don’t accept less than a 1,000:1 contrast ratio.
Make sure the set has connections for your current home theatre components. Buy one with more than one HDMI input, if possible.

What’s in a name?

You’ll see plenty off-brand sets this year. In fact, off-brands will dominate early sales. Don’t let the names deter you.

Budget brands may not be as physically attractive as the big boys. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the quality is any less.

There are very few manufacturers of LCD panels. Off-brands often share the same panel as costlier models. Different manufacturers make the software and other components, though.
Some extras may not be available on budget brands. Don’t expect card readers, swivel bases or ambient lighting. You’ll be fine without these features, though.

If you must have a brand name, wait. Prices on brand-name sets should start falling three weeks before Christmas.

Read online reviews carefully before buying any set.

Watch out for extras
Competition is forcing stores to lower HDTV prices. You can bet they’ll try to make up for it elsewhere. So, watch out for heavy-handed sales tactics
Retailers make a killing on extended warranties. The truth is, you don’t need one.

Manufacturing defects should become apparent within the standard warranty period. Most brands are reliable, according to Consumer Reports. Included in that group are Sanyo, Sony, Sylvania, Panasonic, JVC, Sharp, Toshiba, Visio, Samsung and Philips Magnavox.

Repair costs after the warranty expires will probably be cheaper than an extended warranty. Anecdotally, I have heard little about TV problems.

You should also watch out for cable prices. The salesperson may try to sell you expensive, brand-name cables. These may run hundreds of dollars.
Tests have shown that most premium cables are not worth premium prices. Budget about $20 for component video cables. An HDMI cable should cost less than $40. Shop around. If nothing else, you can get good prices online.

Remember to budget for installation if you want to wall-mount your set. You’ll spend $100 or more for the bracket. Professional installation starts around $100. Again, shop around. Some professional installers are very expensive. A good handyman can do this job.

It matters where you shop

Don’t limit your shopping to electronics stores. You’ll find great HDTV deals at department stores like Sears and Wal-Mart.

And check warehouse stores like Costco and Sam’s Club. They often have lower profit margins than retailers. Retailers’ profit margins are about 25 percent. At warehouse stores, this drops to 10 percent.

Online retailers will also offer bargains on HDTVs. Don’t forget shipping costs, though. And no matter where you purchase, always check return policies.

Time to Overcome Black Homophobia

Whilst marking their ballot boxes in favour of Barack Obama last Tuesday, 70% of African American voters in California -- just one of the states that have passed Proposition 8 -- also marked their ballot boxes against gay marriage.

With African-Americans turning out in record numbers last week to vote for Barack Obama -- California saw an increase of some 500,000 black voters -- many gay rights supporters are now angry at what they see as an apparent hypocrisy amongst African American voters, who they perceive as having used their numbers to help elect America's first black president whilst simultaneously voting to deny freedoms to another minority. (It's interesting to note Barack Obama's position on the matter -- he is against gay marriage, but supports civil unions and doesn't believe there should be a ban on same-sex marriage, a slightly contradictory position.)

Gay rights supporters are surprised that African Americans could have voted against gay marriage believing that they, more than anyone, should understand discrimination having suffered from it for so long. However, not only are African Americans traditionally conservative when it comes to homosexuality -- carrying strong, often negative and deeply religious feelings about the issue -- some are not convinced that that gay rights are, as many activists believe, on a par with the civil rights issues that black people have faced.

Naturally, many African Americans are pretty irritated at the blame that is being heaped at their doorstep. After all, they were not only ones to vote for a ban on gay marriage. As Raymond Leon Roker points out 49% of Asian Americans, 53% of Hispanics and nearly 50% of white voters -- who make up 63% of the voting population in California voted in favour of the proposition. Furthermore, in California, black voters make up a small proportion of the population and therefore could not have statistically have made the major difference.

Regardless of who is to blame, the African-American community (and black communities around the world) does have an issue -- a deep rooted and as yet very much unresolved one - with homosexuality that needs to be addressed.

Discussions about homosexuality within the black community still often revolve around homophobic attitudes, often couched in and absolved by references to religion and the Bible. We often hear, from young and old, about sin and Sodom and Gomorrah in conversations about homosexuality. Using religion is a good way for people uncomfortable with homosexuality to shut down discussion: after all, how do you argue with the Bible? Preaching the Bible is fine, but it does nothing to address the very pressing issues that our black lesbian and gay community members face.

Our issue with homosexuality is also partly about our own struggles and conflicts over black masculinity and femininity. Whilst black people often complain about the images of black men and women that have been forced upon us and perpetuated through the media, we also struggle with our own ideas about what it means to be a black man or woman. Unfortunately, there is little room for homosexuality within any such discussions.

"No homo," a phrase popularized by rappers is one example of the issues surrounding black masculinity. Expressions of emotion or intimacy (particularly between two men), according to the "no homo" rule, is gay and therefore bad and it should be made known that said expression carries no homosexual connotations, hence the use of the phrase "no homo."

When intimacy and expression are equated in black popular culture, with being gay which is openly and unequivocally equated with being bad, what message does that send not only to gay black men and women about how they are viewed but to heterosexual men and women about how they express themselves?

It's also about our unwillingness to adequately address sexual health issues within our community, with diseases like HIV and AIDS still remaining taboo subjects despite the fact that they disproportionately affect us. Recent research from the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention shows that "there were more new HIV infections in young black [gay and bisexual] men aged 13-29 than any other age or racial group".

It's also about the role of the black church, its ability to influence and what it does with that influence.The church has historically blazed a positive trail on civil rights issues affecting the black community, yet on homosexuality they remain either silent of vehemently against it.
Similarly, it's about the black community's willingness - at times - to engage in a head-in-the-sand attitude about certain issues that we feel uncomfortable about. There are a multitude of rumours about black actors, musicians and entertainers who are gay, but there are very few -- if any -- openly gay high profile black people. Those people are not out because homosexuality is still not socially acceptable within the black community, but we all know they are there. With homosexuality, as with some other matters, many of us in the black community seem to operate a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

Regardless of whether or not we agree with it -- I personally do not care who people sleep with or who they marry so long as they are consenting adults -- the fact is that we have brothers and sisters who are gay who require support: emotional, mental and sexual. And supporting them, by constructively engaging with and deconstructing our own prejudices and dealing with some of our own internal conflicts about the issues I've raised above helps the entire black community, in a myriad of ways.

It's not all bad though, apparently. A study by Gregory B Lewis of Georgia State University found that "despite their greater disapproval of homosexuality, blacks' opinions on sodomy laws, gay civil liberties, and employment discrimination are quite similar to whites' opinions, and African Americans are more likely to support laws prohibiting antigay discrimination. Once religious and educational differences are controlled, blacks remain more disapproving of homosexuality but are moderately more supportive of gay civil liberties and markedly more opposed to anti-gay employment discrimination than are whites."

That's all good to some extent. However, there's still plenty of work to be done surrounding the attitudes towards homosexuality within the black community.

It's hard enough being black without the added stress and turmoil that I can imagine comes from being gay within the black community. It's time for us to face up to our issues.

written by Lola Adesioye

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lola-adesioye/time-to-overcome-black-ho_b_143626.html