Monday, December 29, 2008

THE "BOOTY CALL" AGREEMENT

The Pre-Booty Call Agreement


This pre-booty call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as "The Agreement")
is entered into on this ___day of ______________, 20 __, by ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Participant") between ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Holder of 'The Agreement'") and ____________________ (Participant).


This Agreement shall cover the following rules and principles for the Participant:


1. If it is very good we may repeat it in the morning, but don't hold the Holder of The Agreement to any promises.


2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.


3. No calls before 9 pm. We don't have anything to talk about.


4. None of that "lovemaking" stuff, only mind-blowing sex allowed.


5. No emotional discussions!! i.e. where are we heading with this? Do you love me? If the Holder of The Agreement begins said discussion, shut her up with a kiss and remind her that this is a Booty Call.


6. No plans made in advance. That is why you are called "the backup." Unless you are from out-of-town, then an advance arrangement as acceptable.


7. All gifts accepted- dinner is always good.


8. No baby talk- however, dirty talk is encouraged.


9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers; it's really none of your damn business.


10. No calling each other friends with privileges. We are not friends, just sex buddies.


11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK. Don't be offended, you mean no less to me than you did before.


12. No extra clothing!! I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.


13. Falling asleep after sex is ok if the Holder of the Agreement is satisfied with your performance to date.


14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it. I don't care!!


15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.


16. If anyone of the opposite sex asks who you are, the standard response will be "A friendly acquaintence."


17. Doggie style preferred. Just hit it hard and right or get the Hell out!


*Extra tip for successful booty calls: The holder of the Agreement may only alter the aforementioned rules. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of the Agreement, it will automatically become null and void.The Participant will then be removed from the "Possible Future Relationship List" and given minimal Booty Call privileges, and cut off from any communications unless first initiated by the holder of this agreement.


If further violations of the Agreement occur the Participant will be deleted from phone memory, email list, and blocked from all communications until the Participant's silly ass understands the rules.


Participant: Holder of the "Agreement": Signature: ____________________ Date: ____________________


Signature: ____________________ Date: ____________________